Pixie Cuts

Today was the start of a very busy week.  A million and one things to do before I start chemo on Thursday.

I had a nice, quiet weekend away with my guy. There was no dog waking us up to go out or a cat walking across our heads.  It was a the perfect calm before the storm

Tonight was the big "chop chop:"  Number 8 on the clippers to be exact.  Last month I met a young hairstylist who collects and donates hair to Angel Hair.  A non profit organization that creates wigs for children.  Given the chances of my losing hair are very high and after learning that they don't have many natural blondes donating their hair, it was something I really wanted to do.

Its my practical side telling me "if you are likely going to lose your hair anyways, give it to someone who can use it"

Besides, less work for me in the morning even if I don't lose it.

I read somewhere that cutting your hair before treatments is called "Owning the Cancer."  Now whatever idiot coined that intelligent phrase should be shot.  Last time I checked no one wanted to "Own" cancer.  In fact if I could wrap it up, shove it in the mailbox with "Return To Sender" stamped across the front, I would be quite content.  I prefer to call tonight "doing what needs to be done to get you through to the next step."

Earlier today Kim, Meta and I attended "chemo school."  An education session to help prepare people for their treatments.  The class included a short PowerPoint presentation, a question/answer period with a nurse and a tour of the chemotherapy treatment area.  Now for whatever reason, the questions that concerned me the most, revolved around intimacy, wine and driving.  So likely the nurse thought I was a sex crazed alcoholic. I only ask the questions others are afraid to ask.   As I scanned the room, a few people caught my attention:

• The lady and her friend on the verge of going "pink ribbon"  Yes, you can tell those types
• A cute older couple who are taking things together in strides. They didn't ask too many questions
• An older gentleman with his daughter and she isn't taking things very well.  She is trying to control a situation she has absolutely no control over
• An older woman who lives alone with her cat.  I got the feeling she doesn't have a good support network and wonder how she copes

Then I spied a woman about my age as we were having a tour of the facility.  She commented that she needed to cut her hair.  I told her I was cutting mine tonight and asked her when she was starting treatments. Her voice cracked when she said "tomorrow."  I just gave her a hug.  I will likely be reacting the same way on Wednesday.  I realized thisis the first point I have interacted with people who ARE BEGINNING to go through this, not HAVE BEEN. 

Leaving the hospital, Kim wouldn't let me stand near her at the parking machine for fear I will yell at her.  Somehow, I have evolved into the Parking Machine Gestapo.  No one wants me around when they pay for parking