This Ship Sails Out of the Port

I had my port removed yesterday. 

The port was a small device inserted into my chest, just days before I started chemo.  It allowed me to receive treatment without destroying what little veins I would have left (as chemo therapy can make veins collapse)  It was inserted into my chest, just under the collar bone and a small tube was attached to a vein in my neck.

It was a life saver, however in the past few months, there were a few minor issues with using it.  It seems to be been clogged periodically.  Nothing visible showed up in Xrays, and we assumed there may have been a kink in the tube.   It usually worked after performing after a variety of movements recommended by the nurses, including the hokey pokey and the YMCA while standing on my head.

I was looking forward to having the port removed. I received a fantastic sedation during the insertion which made me, at least in my opinion, incredibly funny.  So funny that I repeat my one punch lines 3-4 times.  So you can imagine to shock and disappointment when I was told there would only be a local freezing.

I sat down for my pre consult with the nurse

“So last time you were here, we had sedated you…”

I interrupt her; “Yes please!” 

“Well, you won’t be receiving it this time.  It is just a freezing.” 

She then proceeded to go into the details of how the report will be removed.  I don’t need or want to know the gory details.  I am quite content in my ignorance.  Besides, it is going to happen whether I know how it is accomplished or not. 

I argued well into the procedure that it would be more enjoyable for all of us if I was drugged. 

The procedure was rather quick and effortless.  I experienced a little discomfort and wiggled like a three year old while the doctor removed the tubing and port. 

I asked to see what it looked it….a small white plastic box with a silicon circle.  I could see all the needle points in the silicon, representing each time I received a treatment.  Quite fascinating how what appears to be a simple piece of plastic could alleviate so much discomfort to the body.

Post care includes keeping the bandages on until Sunday, no gym or heavy lifting for a week, Tylenol for any pain and the part I dreaded to hear the most…

“No showers until at least Sunday.”

Yeah – like that is going to happen.  As soon as I got home last night, I installed my hand held shower and auditioned for the circus once again; which is how I describe taking a shower, without getting the bandages wet

The port had become a part of my body for the past 17 months.  I often forgot it was there.  It didn’t cause me any pain or discomfort and had it not been for the “clogging” issue, could have cared less whether they removed it or left it in. I never thought much about it.

Now I really do not need to ever think about it again.

The Birth of Vixens Victorious

Today something beautiful was born and officially introduced to the world!

Vixens Victorious – a fundraising organization, co founded with my childhood friend, Jennifer; is comprised of an incredibly talented and dedicated group of women who we have met and worked with over the years.  We support the Ottawa Regional Cancer Foundation by raising awareness and much needed funds to support research, clinical trials and vital programs that are made available to people whose lives have been impacted by cancer, within our community.

Why do I liken to a birth of a child?

Cancer is an ugly thing.  In addition to my own challenges during the last year and a half, I witnessed others around me.  In the chemo unit, I watched others who, while receiving treatment, seemed not to be handling it well, physically or emotionally.  Last summer, I lost a former employer and friend to cancer.  Later in October, I watched a young family bury a fellow vixen and just recently, attended a visitation on Monday for a friend whose father lost his battle with cancer.  I spoke with friends have been tested and some diagnosed with the dreaded c word.  They confided in me their darkest thoughts and fears.  Hearing someone you care about tell you they would prefer to “run away and die alone” is gut wrenching but when you have walked in their shoes, you understand.

But there is a positive side.  I have told you many times that cancer has changed my life…and for the better.  I want to help.  I want to do something meaningful.  As my chemo ended, I started to ponder about how I could give back to the community and the Cancer Foundation, which has given so much to me.  In the fall of 2014, Jennifer approached me with the idea of a film festival and Vixens Victorious was born.

This tour is not what I expected it to be.  At the start, I wanted to receive treatment, get well and move on; with a little rock n roll flair and humor along the way.  If you would have told me; that I would be launching a fundraiser in 2015, I would have rolled my eyes.  And yet here I am.

In fact when Christian was in town for my last chemo, he encouraged me to consider starting a fundraiser or non-profit….and I think I did roll my eyes at him.

When I was diagnosed with breast cancer, I was afraid to tell Jennifer.  Her mother had lost her battle to pancreatic cancer only a month earlier.  She had been diagnosed just 8 weeks before!  It was a difficult and frustrating process for Jennifer and at that point, she and her siblings were still in the process of settling affairs.  I didn’t want to add to her emotions, burdens or stress.  If you would have told me in August 2013, that Jennifer and I would be putting on a film festival to raise funds for the community, I would not have believed you.

Our committee is comprised of women that we have met over the years.  We have former colleagues – I worked with Vivian at Holt Renfrew over 10 years ago.  Paula and I worked together six years ago.  Team Captain Meta was a no brainer, as was my colleague Pam.  But I have always admired these women and they are an incredible addition to our team.   Emily has worked with Jennifer for a long time and her connections and talents will make the film selection amazing.  We have other friends – I have known Brigitte the least longest but we hit it off right away and I am so happy that she decided to join us.   And we are so lucky to have friends such as Laura, Moreen and Anne who are contributing to the cause as well.  Again, if you would have told me in August 2013 that these amazing women would meet, come together and commit the level of time and energy we expect from them in order to make Lights! Camera! CURE! a success, I would have said “not likely.”

So out of a crappy situation that some will view as bleak, desolate and dark; rises something incredibly beautiful -  A group of women who have also been affected by cancer, in one way or another, have banded together and will stand beside Jennifer and myself.  Vixens Victorious is our baby and we are very proud of our beautiful baby.  We have the same expectations as a parent.  We will love, support and nurture it, hoping that Vixens Victorious grows into something great which improves our community and subsequently, the world!

www.vixensvictorious.ca