This Ship Sails Out of the Port

I had my port removed yesterday. 

The port was a small device inserted into my chest, just days before I started chemo.  It allowed me to receive treatment without destroying what little veins I would have left (as chemo therapy can make veins collapse)  It was inserted into my chest, just under the collar bone and a small tube was attached to a vein in my neck.

It was a life saver, however in the past few months, there were a few minor issues with using it.  It seems to be been clogged periodically.  Nothing visible showed up in Xrays, and we assumed there may have been a kink in the tube.   It usually worked after performing after a variety of movements recommended by the nurses, including the hokey pokey and the YMCA while standing on my head.

I was looking forward to having the port removed. I received a fantastic sedation during the insertion which made me, at least in my opinion, incredibly funny.  So funny that I repeat my one punch lines 3-4 times.  So you can imagine to shock and disappointment when I was told there would only be a local freezing.

I sat down for my pre consult with the nurse

“So last time you were here, we had sedated you…”

I interrupt her; “Yes please!” 

“Well, you won’t be receiving it this time.  It is just a freezing.” 

She then proceeded to go into the details of how the report will be removed.  I don’t need or want to know the gory details.  I am quite content in my ignorance.  Besides, it is going to happen whether I know how it is accomplished or not. 

I argued well into the procedure that it would be more enjoyable for all of us if I was drugged. 

The procedure was rather quick and effortless.  I experienced a little discomfort and wiggled like a three year old while the doctor removed the tubing and port. 

I asked to see what it looked it….a small white plastic box with a silicon circle.  I could see all the needle points in the silicon, representing each time I received a treatment.  Quite fascinating how what appears to be a simple piece of plastic could alleviate so much discomfort to the body.

Post care includes keeping the bandages on until Sunday, no gym or heavy lifting for a week, Tylenol for any pain and the part I dreaded to hear the most…

“No showers until at least Sunday.”

Yeah – like that is going to happen.  As soon as I got home last night, I installed my hand held shower and auditioned for the circus once again; which is how I describe taking a shower, without getting the bandages wet

The port had become a part of my body for the past 17 months.  I often forgot it was there.  It didn’t cause me any pain or discomfort and had it not been for the “clogging” issue, could have cared less whether they removed it or left it in. I never thought much about it.

Now I really do not need to ever think about it again.