Many look forward to 2015 - A fresh new slate! Preparing resolutions or just hopeful that the coming year will bring positive changes to their career, finances, health, etc. Whatever category in life that needs a change.
The gyms become busier, health products fly off the shelves, post holiday facials, massages and detoxes are popular as people prepare their bodies for the new year. I always do a New Years purge: Sorting through cupboards, closets and cabinets; discarding and/or replacing of old, expired, unused or unwanted items. It has been my way of losing a quick 10 lbs and making room for all the good things that the coming year has to offer.
Every Vixen, who had treatment this past year that I contacted over the holidays, have all enthusiastically agreed that 2015 will be a much better year. Of course it will! Less frequent visits to the hospital, the bulk of our treatments behind us, full heads of hair, eyelashes restored and bodies/immune systems are starting to return to a new "normal." Christ - Some of the vixens even have a new rack!
Aside from the obvious, 2015 will be a better year for us. We endured a challenging year!
I can only speak of my personal experience but I believe that I also grew stronger emotionally, psychologically and spiritually. (The physical part needs a little more time as it seems I have been catching every cold and flu this season.) I found a level of energy and strength I never knew I had. It was this strength that pushed me through treatments and kept my chin up. But it did more.
Having a positive attitude does more than help one survive cancer treatments. It spills into everyday life and encourages one to strive to be a better person. I never classified myself as having "self confidence" issues but I certainly gained a new level of self acceptance and self respect in 2014. But this "healthy attitude" needs to be continuously nurtured. I need to be aware when a negative force creeps into my life, whether it be of my own doing or an external force. Negativity can grow like a mould. The area needs to be disinfected.
I strive to become a solution seeker. If there are obstacles in my life, how do I overcome them? As opposed to sitting idle, expecting life to change itself around me (which it isn't) I try harder to make changes to improve my life. If I can't change it, how can I accept it? Am I risk taker that I envy in others yet? Hell No! And it will likely take a very long time, if ever, to reach the level I desire.
Similar to cleaning my closets; over 2014 I discarded many negative factors that affected my well being. Although this "cleansing" doesn't happen in one afternoon and will continue to develop during the rest of one's life, making the effort to abandon unhealthy attitudes, actions (or inaction), routines, foods & people; and replacing with positive/healthy ones, has been gratifying.
I have been and likely will always be the type that keeps myself busy. Between work, activities in Ottawa and small projects at the farm on weekends, my days are full. People have commented; "You are always so busy" or "You spend too much time at the farm" when I am unable to meet them when they were available. It used to bother me. I felt guilty. Then I realized why should I apologize for living life the way I want to live it? I am doing things that make me happy. Whether it be a roller blading class or spending a weekend, weeding in my garden. These are activities I feel enrich my life. Any guilt has been replaced with the question "Why do others care what I do with my time?" More often than not, the answer is that I have not made myself readily available when someone wants me to be. Do I criticize or question others about how they spend their time? No. If a friend was in a crisis would I be there for them? Of course!
This attitude I feel, has strengthened my relationships with my friends and family. I made new friends and deepened the bonds of existing relationships. I try to surround myself with people who have the same outlook as I do. I feel so grateful for what and who I have in my life. Quality prevails over quantity.
I strive to become a solution seeker. If there are obstacles in my life, how do I overcome them? As opposed to sitting idle, expecting life to change itself around me (which it isn't) I try harder to make changes to improve my life. If I can't change it, how can I accept it? Am I risk taker that I envy in others yet? Hell No! And it will likely take a very long time, if ever, to reach the level I desire.
Similar to cleaning my closets; over 2014 I discarded many negative factors that affected my well being. Although this "cleansing" doesn't happen in one afternoon and will continue to develop during the rest of one's life, making the effort to abandon unhealthy attitudes, actions (or inaction), routines, foods & people; and replacing with positive/healthy ones, has been gratifying.
I have been and likely will always be the type that keeps myself busy. Between work, activities in Ottawa and small projects at the farm on weekends, my days are full. People have commented; "You are always so busy" or "You spend too much time at the farm" when I am unable to meet them when they were available. It used to bother me. I felt guilty. Then I realized why should I apologize for living life the way I want to live it? I am doing things that make me happy. Whether it be a roller blading class or spending a weekend, weeding in my garden. These are activities I feel enrich my life. Any guilt has been replaced with the question "Why do others care what I do with my time?" More often than not, the answer is that I have not made myself readily available when someone wants me to be. Do I criticize or question others about how they spend their time? No. If a friend was in a crisis would I be there for them? Of course!
Sometimes this approach has translated itself into a "fuck it" attitude (which I have been told can also be associated with turning 40.) The "Fuck it! I am going to speak my mind and don't care what you think." Those who know me, know I have never had a problem speaking my mind but there have been many moments in the past where I just walked away from an unhealthy situation or toxic person, without letting them know how I felt. I was shy, intimated or just didn't want to "rock the boat." Sometimes I wish I would have voiced my opinion but I guess that voice is found with age and experience. Although I gained many valuable friendships in 2014, I also let go of others. In a few cases, I was harsh (I need to work on my delivery) and let the other person know how their actions/words affected me. I felt better afterwards. It was as if I let go of any anger or hurt feelings that I may have towards the situation at hand. I sleep better at night.
I'm not a mean person or a "hater" but some people's values, beliefs and attitudes clash with mine which created a negative energy for me. I can't continue to grow as a person if negativity and drama drag me down. There will always be negative people, angry people, perpetual victims, the self centred, bull shitters and the drama queens. Hell, I have worn each of these hats myself, at some point, over the years. We all have rough days but some can't or won't crawl out of that hole and appear unsatisfied unless everyone is sitting in the same hole with them. By limiting my interactions with these people or avoiding them completely; I have created more space to include happy, positive, inspiring people in my life. Although it would be nice, I can't help everyone in life but I know I can help myself and I know I don't want to be stuck in a hole. Some have walked out of my life, not by my choice but in most cases I have gained a certain serenity from their absence and move forward. Positive people bring positive energy...solution seekers help you find a solution.
2014 was a crappy year on a few levels and it is a year I wish to never repeat but the valuable lessons learned will last a lifetime. Obviously some things were beyond my control but I learned to go with the flow and once the bulk of my treatments were behind me, I filled my summer with so many positive experiences that I will always treasure and shared it with people that I love very much.
Instead of making a list of new years resolutions, I will continue on the personal path I started in 2014. I cannot put into words what exactly needs to be done in 2015. As the year progresses, these actions will change. I want to continue to grow and clean my emotional closet; replacing negative energy for positive. I believe this "healthy attitude" will enable me to become a better person and share that positive energy with others. Just like the oxygen masks on the air plane, I need to set myself up before I can help other passengers.
Happy New Years!
Instead of making a list of new years resolutions, I will continue on the personal path I started in 2014. I cannot put into words what exactly needs to be done in 2015. As the year progresses, these actions will change. I want to continue to grow and clean my emotional closet; replacing negative energy for positive. I believe this "healthy attitude" will enable me to become a better person and share that positive energy with others. Just like the oxygen masks on the air plane, I need to set myself up before I can help other passengers.
Happy New Years!
