God Keep Our Land Glorious and Free

I'm going to take a quick break from writing about cancer and focus on something far greater that impacted our lives yesterday.

On Wednesday, October 22nd 2014, a coward with a rifle walked up and shot and killed Nathan Cirillo, one of our soldiers as he stood on guard at the War Memorial....a symbol of the sacrifices our Canadian military has made for our country.  The Coward then raced into the halls of the Peace Tower where he was killed by Sergeant at Arms Kevin Vickers.

Think about that.  A lot of fucking symbolism if you ask me.

As I walked home last night, I realized my route has now become a crime scene.  My direct route was still under lock down and the market was virtually deserted.  I recently wrote in an earlier entry that when I now walk to work I relate to Scrooge from Dicken's A Christmas Carol in that I  "walk about the streets, ....and  found that everything could yield him pleasure.  He had never dreamed of any walk...could give him so much happiness."  It didn't feel that way to me last night and perhaps, in the coming days or weeks, I may struggle to keep that light hearted feeling on my commute home.

A slice of our innocence was lost yesterday.

But we are Canadians and a bunch of tough Motherfuckers.  We will not let the acts of yesterday frighten us.

But if there is one thing I can take away from the past year of my life is the ability and desire to find lessons to be learned in life.  The irrational events of yesterday are no different.

I posted on Facebook this morning and wanted to share it here:

In the midst of a heinous attack in our hometown, it is heart warming to see the outpouring of love, solidarity and pride on social media towards one another, our country and our city….
How can we encourage to continue the sentiment we feel today and not have it become a flash in the pan?

1. Pay your respects not only on this Remembrance Day but every year (and no that doesn’t include taking a “selfie” at the War Memorial)

2. It doesn’t need to be Remembrance Day to remember and respect our veterans and present day military. They have fought hard for Canada and to keep the rights and freedoms we sometimes take for granted

3. Vote and vote wisely. We have the right to vote for our leaders that so many countries do not. Research your municipal, provincial and federal candidates and make a wise and informed decision. Don’t waste democracy

4. Take a moment to refresh your knowledge on Canadian history and what we have accomplished to become the nation that we are. Teach your children because our educational system seems to have forgotten about it

5. Show your pride this Canada Day and every other day. We are the true north strong and free

O Canada!

Our home and native land!

True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,

The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Tribute to a Vixen

Unexpected bad news always seems to come at the strangest times….Well, is there ever a good time for bad news?

Last night, the eve before Okotberfest (my favorite holiday after Christmas) as I was getting ready for bed, I received an email from one of the Vixens.   T, another vixen I had mentioned in a May post had passed away.  It felt like someone dropped a brick on my chest. 

I only met her once.  It was on the day of my last chemo as I was leaving the hospital.  She was finishing radiation and my first impression was that she had a vibrant personality.  I also had a small streak of envy because she was closer to being finished treatment than I and would be moving on with her life, with what we expected, cancer being behind her.

She was close to my friend P and I heard so many good things about her through P.  The two girls were excellent support for one another.  It warmed my heart to hear about them going wig shopping or fitness classes together.  I have been extremely public about everything and continuously grateful of the support I am showered with.  So when someone is a little more private about her tour, like P; I worry.  It’s what I do best…unnecessarily worry (although I am working on it)  Knowing she had someone to confide in, made me feel better.

There was a selfish component again upon hearing the news and as I explained to someone this morning – There is an initial shock and sadness directed towards T and the family she leaves behind.  Then there is an incredible sadness for my friend P.  I cannot imagine how I would take the news of losing one of my kindred spirits that I have become close friends with during the tour.  Then those bastard “what ifs” kick in again....  What if it was one of my close friends?  What if I am next on the list?

In May when I learned that her cancer had returned, it affected me for days.  Although my heart still feels pretty heavy this morning, I am not going to let it be about me.  Everyone is different and cancer affects all of us differently.  I didn't know her but she obviously has made an impact on my life that I want to share.

This post is NOT going to be about me but a tribute to a fellow vixen....Right Now

T was a wife, a mother, a daughter, a relative, a friend, a colleague, a neighbor and a vixen!  She made an impact on people’s lives and provided support to fellow vixens.  The news of her leaving this world comes at the start of Breast Cancer Awareness month.  And cancer, no matter what kind it is, is a fucking bitch.  They day she learned that she had cancer, was the day she became a fighter....a soldier....a vixen.

Her passing is a reminder not only for women to have regular screening of their breasts or for anyone to have their health checked regularly; it is a reminder to live life to its fullest.  She was taken away from her loved ones too soon.  I hope they find some solace in believing that her spirit is now everywhere, around them. She will always be there when her children go to sleep at night, she will always be there looking over the shoulders of her friends.  Her arms will always be around the people she loved.

T is a reminder to take nothing for granted. 

Tell your family and friends that you love them

Don’t waste time on negativity, drama or bullshit

Focus on the positive

Find a purpose in everything

See the cup as half full

Look at the world with the same awe and wonder as a child

T is a reminder that every day is a gift