Since the first round of chemo last week I have led a very uneventful life. I now work from home, have two furballs who think they are my Administrative Assistants, wear no make up and today my "office attire" consisted of sweat pants and my "Downtown Ladysmith" Tshirt
It is quite boring to work from home and by 9 AM on Friday, was ready to go back to the office.
I was tired for the first couple of days but did not sleep a lot leading up to chemotherapy. I wouldn't say I had nausea but I mentioned to the clinical trial nurse that I felt a little bit off for maybe an hour the first day (didn't need any Gravol or other medication) and they will be changing my drugs for the trial because I shouldn't feel anything at all. That's one relief.
My appetite has not changed. I have always been a big eater. Maybe not the healthiest eater but I'm definitely a big eater. I plowed through 4 pizza pops for lunch on Saturday and then made grilled bison with mashed potatoes, mixed vegetables and sauerkraut.
I notice smells but they do not seem to affect me. I drove past a dead skunk and although I certainly could smell it, didn't upset me. I keep a Tupperware container with a lid in the car because God forbid, I do get sick...
And I have a cravings for chicken wings?? Not one medical professional can explain that one to me at all. Even driving to the farm at 10 AM on Saturday, I started to think about fried chicken.
I have been warned that my immune system will kick out 7-10 days after treatments and that is when I will be my most tired. With each treatment, it will get worse and I will have days that I will not want to get out of bed. Its like a wave, you just have to ride. It isn't so bad now because my body is still a chemo "virgin" but give it one or two more treatments.
Today wasn't a "good day" I received a call from my surgeon and after reviewing my file with the rest of the team, they now feel I should have more lymph nodes removed. Yes, earlier they told me studies show there isn't a benefit to having lymph nodes removed but now given I am HER2+ and the tumour was aggressive..yada yada yada; she feels it would be a safe option for me to have 5-10 more removed after I finish chemo therapy.
I feel like I get one step ahead and then fall back two.
When I told my family doctor about the lump; she didn't think it would turn out to be anything.
Then it was "indicative of cancer" and the surgeon thought the lymph nodes likely weren't affected and Radiation would fix it.
That changed to chemo as a preventative measure.
After surgery 2 lymph nodes tested positive
And then I was HER2+ and needed over a year of additional treatments
Finally this....
And there is no guarantee at the end of it.
Could I just have one good day??
This afternoon I received a message from woman I was put in contact with. She was diagnosed with breast cancer 13 years ago and then a few years ago, it came back and tested HER2+. She opted for a full mastectomy the second time.
And then I felt bad for my whining. There are plenty of people who have been in far worse situations than I and have come out on top.
Tomorrow I get all the tubes from my port removed. Thank God! Taking a shower has been a little bit like Cirque du Soliel, trying not to get that area wet.
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