At first I wasn't overly keen on the idea. I didn't want the attention; especially from strangers. Nor am I huge "Pink Ribbon" gal but on the flip side no one is ever going to ask me to hang out with college football players; young enough to be my sons when I'm healthy...so why the hell not??
A few weeks ago, I had lunch with another woman who recently was treated for breast cancer and she said something that really hit home for me. She thought the football game was a fantastic idea because even though I have cancer, I have a healthy, happy, positive image and people need to see that side to the illness.
Eventually I let Karma make the executive decision for me. But once she did, I decided that this blog, my photos with Laura or any other related activities should demonstrate that cancer doesn't have to be related to images of illness, or people with no hair or people dying. I know I mentioned it in an earlier post but it really bears repeating
JUST BECAUSE YOU HAVE CANCER DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE DYING OR NEED TO LIVE LIFE LIKE YOU ARE SICK OR DYING
We are all dying. Mortality is part of life and I could get easily hit by a bus tomorrow morning or live until I am 100. So could anyone else.
I can still have fun and do all the things I normally do. I just try to keep a few nights alone and go to bed a bit earlier. Nothing has changed about me nor do I expect people to treat me differently or "baby" me. Maybe it will all change when I start treatments but I will cross that bridge when I come to it
I digress.
So Saturday evening was the big game...Ice cold and raining. The plan was to be introduced by the announcer; along with a surgeon from the Gatineau Hospital. The surgeon makes a brief speech, I shake the players' hands and kick the ball out of the surgeon's hands.
As I start shaking hands, one of the players says to me with a grin "You can have which ever one of us you want"....LOL Now that is the exact image I have been trying to portray. No, not a cougar (although I felt like one) but happy sexy rock star!
Now I have never even been to a football game before. I watched the Super Bowl once and was bored. This game I was nervous about kicking the ball. I didn't want to hit the surgeon (I am sure his career flashed before his eyes as I lifted my toe) Nor did I want to kick and wipe out on my back in front of everyone. I wore my motorcycle boots so either scenario was possible. But my biggest mistake was aiming to kick the wrong way.
Anyways, it went well, I kicked the ball, I stayed standing and the surgeon can continue to work. I had a lot of fun and when the weather is warmer, I may go out and actually watch a full game next year.
On Sunday, I went to church for the first time since my surgery. Now as I mentioned in my last post; I made it in the Ladysmith social notes section of the community newspaper. So everyone knew what was going on in my life. Plus my parents are regular church folk and have been quite open about things. What blew me away was when I sat down, a few people came and asked how I was feeling. Now please don't get me wrong...I appreciate the concern and am extremely grateful that I have an incredible support network of family/ friends and a caring community who would lend me a helping hand; but what is with the sad faces??? Everyone who asked how I was feeling, had a concerned or sad face and followed up with a comment "Well, you look well"
What the hell am I supposed to look like?? Ok, take the "Hell" out. I was sitting in God's house.
Maybe I am supposed to be an evangelist and preach the word that cancer can include vibrant, happy people too
ROCKSTAR for sure...:-)
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