Curse of the Blondes

I learned an interesting fact today:  In addition to burning like a St Hubert Chicken in the sun, fair skin blondes have a tendency to bruise and bleed more than the average person.

Area 51 which is what I will be referring to my right breast and arm pit for the next few weeks is extremely sore, swollen and I have tingling sensations down my arm.  I managed to squeeze in an appointment with my surgeon today...To make sure I am just being a wimp.

You know its bad when you remove your gown and the surgeon makes a face.  The bruising is more excessive than the usual and there has been some bleeding on the inside.  But to go back inside the wounds will not necessarily fix the problem and could potentially risk infection.

The prescription?  Suck it up buttercup

Oh and all the Advil and Aspirin I have been taking the past 6 days makes the situation worse.  It thins blood.  I never even looked at my Tylenol bottle.

The Tensor bandage also provides relief by keeping the area tight.  I already walk around with that bandage as Linus walks around with his blanket but decided I need an assortment.  A- there is no such thing as colored tensor bandages B- drug stores only carry bandages 5 metres long.  The one they gave me from the hospital is longer than me.  So I am wrapped back up and whatever boobs I have left, get pushed downwards.  At least that is what I keep telling myself.  It isn't a gut, its like pushing toothpaste around a tube.

But I discovered that my vodka bottle I keep in the freezer fits perfectly into my armpit and makes the perfect compress.