Inked and Tatted

I returned to work this week.  It feels great to trade in my sweat pants for dress pants and be back in the office with all of my team mates after working from home and then being off work.  I feel like I have a purpose again.

Its amazing all the little things you can forget in such a short period of time.  I forgot passwords, my phone number, where to find things; even how to make an outgoing call.  Slowly I am getting back into the saddle.

The first order of business was assessing what clothing I own that still fits.  People may think I hide my weight gain well (or they are just being polite) but according to my wardrobe there is no hiding the fact.  I was late for work on the first day because I was thrashing around my bedroom, like a fish out of water, getting my tights on. Not like I could place the blame on my hair.

This too shall pass.....

Radiation begins next week and should be a cake walk compared to what my body has been through with chemotherapy and surgery. 

I had my "radiation prep" last week.  I decided to forgo the radiation school.  At the start of all this, my motto was "knowledge is power" and I read all the literature provided by the hospital, attended chemo school; taking detailed notes.  Now my motto is "learn as I go."  There are only so many times one can go to a hospital.  I figure I have to go to radiation anyways and someone will tell me what to do or what to expect while I am there. 

I don't remember how many treatments I have.  I am pretty sure I was told 23 treatments plus 5 booster treatments (whatever that means) for a total of 28, delivered every day for 5 1/2 weeks.  Again, I will just keep going until they stop giving me appointment cards.  The targeted radiation area includes breast, armpit and collar bone.  The purpose is to ensure there are no little cancer floaties that escaped chemo and surgery.  Symptoms include possible fatigue which could be a result of having to go to the hospital and deal with parking idiots every day.

I got a parking pass to the hospital.  God help me if I turn into one of them!

Other possible symptoms include skin irritations and a sore throat.  Sarah described the skin irritation equivalent to a tag from your clothing rubbing against your skin.  Annoying but completely manageable.  So I signed up for inline skating lessons during that time.  The thought of possibly falling down and breaking my neck will take my mind off any old skin irritation.

My prep consisted of a CT Scan which will help Dr. C determine my treatments.  I was able to keep my arm over my head for approximately 20 minutes, during set up and scan. There is always a concern of mobility after surgery but I no issues at all and that means a green light to start radiation on the 6th.

I also received my radiation tattoos: 5 small dots to ensure that my body is lined up each time I receive treatment.  Now this is an actual tattoo, applied with a needle and ink. You don't want those bad boys washing off prior to treatment. I am ticklish and have repeatedly mentioned my loud laugh.  Well imagine the noise I made while getting marked up.  A doctor even walked into the room to ask what all the noise was about and was shocked to hear it was my laugh.

"Usually we have people crying."

Not me.

Any crazy ideas I ever had of having the profile of Jesus tattooed along my ribcage has gone out the window.  It would look like scribbles given the way I squirm.  I would have grabbed onto the Technologists shoulder for support, as I did with my nurse when he gave me a needle, but I figured that could end horribly.

The other excellent piece of news I would like to share is the following day I visited my Surgeon.  She informed me that 16 more lymph nodes were removed in the last surgery and all were cancer free.  Everything seems to be healing well and I should have full sensation back in my arm in a couple of months.  But each day it gets better and better.

I also didn't say anything stupid as they were putting me under for surgery...again, she may just be polite.

So life seems to be slowly returning to normal:  I have moved back to Ottawa, am back at work, my hair is growing back rapidly, and am starting to work out again.  Sure I am tired at the end of the day right now and that may continue until after radiation but who cares? My goal right now is to have a lifestyle again where I can talk about something else other than cancer.  When you leave your job, the gym, your friends; constantly visit a doctor and have the visible side effects of chemotherapy (aka - hair loss;) the topic of your cancer tour constantly pops its head during your conversations.  I would much rather discuss rollerblading, gardening, home renovations...even the rotting whale in Newfoundland.