The Mighty Have Fallen

I jinxed myself....

I knew I was too lucky and being overly cocky because I had not experienced any side effects.

And then on Day 12 it hit me...

I popped into the office super early to grab a few things, grabbed a few groceries on the way home, worked from home until lunch, worked out during lunch at the Maplesoft Centre and by the time I left, felt like a truck ran over me.  I crawled into bed when I got home and took a nap.

Wednesday was even worse.  I woke up and had to message my bosses to let them know I wasn't able to log in and would come online after I sleep a little longer.  I felt a better when I woke and assumed perhaps it was exhaustion from lack of sleep.  My throat was sore, I could feel my temperature rising but I had not reached a fever point.  By evening my temperature had reached the fever mark, waited a little longer, no changes and by 9, I turned to my friend and asked "Can you take me to the hospital please?"

Now since I felt fine and was merely following protocol, I took my time to pack a little package including magazines, water and my travel makeup bag.  I also figured I would be in for a long haul and made a Tim Horton's pit stop. En route, I could feel my body temperature rising and wondered if anyone would notice if I rolled down the window and hung my head out of the vehicle like a dog.

At the hospital, I pulled the cancer card.  No seriously, you are given a card to keep in your wallet that is presented should you wind up in emergency.  You pass the line, don't wait in the waiting room and are taken into care as quickly as possible.  My VIP lounge did not include bottle service but surgical masks.  Meta kept yelling at me to keep my mask on but it is very hard to drink coffee through a mask and by now, my lip gloss had smeared all over the inside of the mask and across my face, making me look like the Joker.

The purpose of having a port is to receive anything via IV and to extract blood without wrecking your veins.   Since I am relatively new to this concept, a bit fearful of the first time I will be "clipped in" and assumed, I was going to be sent home by morning; I told them not to bother and use my veins for blood tests.

When I was in the first grade,  during a routine blood test, I watched the nurse extract vials of blood from me.  Five minutes later, I passed out cold on the steps of the Shawville Hospital.  Ever since I've had an aversion to needles.  I can't watch.

Needless to say I didn't have a warm and fuzzy feeling when I felt the nurse pushing and rubbing against my veins...Oh come on!  There is no way you can't draw blood from that big honking blue vein in my arm.  Then I caught a glimpse of what she was taking out of me.  Aside from maybe 4-6 of the usual vials, another 4 the size of Heinz Ketchup bottles were sitting on the tray!!

I called her a dirty vampire

Xray department didn't play fair either.  They asked if I could stand up - Of course I could.  That was great news for her because she didn't have to take a chest Xray with my lying down.  You mean there is an option?  I was toasty and cozy' snuggled up, under the blankets in my gurney and now she wanted me to get out and stand in the cold?

I was then asked to provide a urine sample.  After drinking a large Timmies (decaf) I was ready to report for duty.  She asked to collect my sample mid stream. Not a problem - Most women may be embarrassed to admit this but lining everything up at the start can be a little difficult, you usually miss and pee on your hand...always happens and always mid stream

My Oncology specialist was a Resident who looked like he was 12 years old and on a class field trip.  He had spoke to his Fellow...which is? He explained the difference between residency and fellowship.

"And after Fellow, you become a Dude?"  I asked

"No, "Staff" but I like your title better"

With whatever leftover blood they had from feeding the vampires in the basement, it indicated my white blood cell was very low and I was being admitted.  There were no rooms available and I was in line for a room.  When the morning nurse started his shift he said typically there are approximately 10 people waiting to be admitted to a room.  On Thursday morning, there were 31 people waiting.  There were beds in their board room, beds lined up in the hallway and at one point, I heard they had no beds.  I was thankful for my little broom closet as I had some privacy.

One thing I was confused about; I why would the nurse do a swab of my ass when I came in complaining of a sore throat?  No one looked at my throat until I brought the issue up again by lunchtime.  They assume it is the start of mouth sores and it will come and go in cycles during treatments. It is annoying as hell.

Spending a night,  listening to everyone in the emergency, is an experience.  To my left was a little old man who had fallen and fractured something.  He was disoriented and would not stay in his bed. Finally by morning, one of the nurses had enough of his antics and told him to settle down; to which he shouted "Shut your f*cking mouth b*tch" and then afterwards asked for assistance get to the washroom to "take a crap"

Across the room was a women vomiting and retching...I closed my curtain

To my right, at one point, was a little old lady who had taken a tumble and was very upset that her assigned nurse was not at her beckon call.  In fact she complained about everything.

Two doors down was another little old lady who sadly tried to commit suicide by taking 4 anti depressants (it was one of those "and you think you have it rough" moments for me) and in the morning she was bragging about how well she slept...Uhm lady, I don't think so because I heard you  talking all night.

Down the hall was another old lady, screaming "Get me out of here!"

I don't think anyone would be surprised if I told them, I didn't sleep that night.  I feel part of the reason I landed in the hospital in the first place is that I have been sleeping poorly for over a week and was run down.  This was not helping the situation and a breath mint would have worked better than the sleeping pill they finally gave me at 4:30 AM.

There is little to no cell phone reception in the emergency ward.  It was late when I decided to go in and I thought I would be released the next morning at some point and therefore, didn't feel the need to tell my folks.  I was admitted by 2:30 AM and certainly was not going to call them and figured I would be put into a room my mid morning at the latest.  But as the day grew on, I heard stories of people spending a few days in emergency due to lack of beds.  I wasn't allowed to leave the area because at this point, was still unsure what caused my fever and could not compromise myself any further.

Carolyn had dropped by early in the morning with some breakfast and thank God because the hospital had nothing to give me to eat until noon.  When she asked what I wanted, I texted "Cheeseburger!  No wait, its too early.  How about a croissant and some fruit?"

I know I am trying to eat healthy but something about hospitals must bring out my bad side.

Anyways she offered to call my folks.  I figured she was the best person because A- my parents know her and B- she has physically seen me in person so she can reiterate I am fine.

Now every one's parents have little quirks.  Amongst mine, my dad believes he is the only person who has a long distance savings plan that allows him to call anyone in Canada for free.  And he wants to make sure he gets his money's worth out of it.   I gave up arguing about 5 years ago that I also had a similar plan and for years, I have called their home, let it ring a few times and then he calls me back.

When Carolyn ran to my place to pick up a few items, she thought maybe it was a good idea to use my land line to call my folks, since they would see the number and answer right away assuming it was me.  Of course they didn't answer and they called back after she walked out the door.  Then they tried my cell which went straight to voicemail.

Shortly after my aunt called to let them know I was in the hospital...didn't tell them which one or why.  The poor man starts calling every hospital in the city.

I was about to go to the bathroom when I heard

"Are you Jennifer?  Your father is on the phone."

Uh oh...

I reassured my parents that I feel fine and the reason for the low cell count and fever is a result of my body reacting to the Chemo.  No big deal - I will start the bone marrow producing injections a little earlier than planned.

After relief sets in, he wants to have a chat.  I am standing at the nurses' station in leggings, an open back, hooked to an IV pole that was last inspected in 2007 (you have a little time on your hands when you are in a hospital,) desperately wanting to pee due to all the hydration.  Not the best time to talk.

Meta and Carolyn were fantastic, taking turns visiting during the day.  Meta snuck in McNuggets.  You know the hospital food is bad when the porter collecting the trays had an envious look when he spied the Golden Arches.  Ang stopped around dinner time and great timing because I promptly turned her around in search of the Tim Horton's for some chili when dinner was served.

By 6:30 PM, I was switched to a bed in the oncology unit.  Finally a real bed, with a shower in the washroom.  Because if I had to stay in emergency, I had made arrangements to take a "shower" where they hose the homeless people off.

Now part of my problem was that I had not been sleeping and the night before was horrendous so I asked the nurse for a sleeping pill stronger than the one the night before.  Or Valium was acceptable.

Whatever she gave me was a miracle.  I was knocked out within half an hour.  The nurse did tell me to signal for her if I wake up in the middle of the night and she would check my vitals at the time.  I pressed the little button when I stirred at 4 AM. 

"Are you ok?" she asked?

"Oh yeah" I replied "I just woke up and thought maybe you would want to check my temperature"

"I did two hours ago but you were out cold and didn't feel a thing.  I took your temperature in your armpit.  All is good."

Now those are some mighty fine drugs!