There Are Others Out There

I had lunch on Friday with a woman in my line of work who was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2010.  I have known her for a while, we have similar work ethics and I have a great deal of respect for her.  I remember at the time, she had mentioned she took very little time off work.  So when the time was right for me, I reached out to her.

It was exactly what I needed.  She told me her story and I picked up a few little tips/tricks for myself. I walked away feeling really confident that I can get through this.  Not that I have any doubts

I had talked to a couple of other women who have been super fantastic at providing me with information and answering all my questions, with out telling me to back off.  Its good to know I have women within my age range who have gone through this that I can talk to.

I may be living in a fantasy but in my world, cancer, treatments, etc isn't going to really affect me and my day to day activities that much.  Sure I may not be able to keep my usual hectic active lifestyle but that is a good thing.  I have been trying to slow down for years.  I need to learn how to go to bed earlier too.  And if I start chemo - as my aunt pointed out today - Off the sauce. But I am not a big drinker; although I went out in style a week before surgery (klassy with a capital K style)

But I can't imagine it affecting work very much.  Maybe take a little time off for appointments and work from home when I feel sick.  In fact, I think I have been more focused the past couple weeks just to prove the point I can do this.

I also cannot imagine any type of treatment making me lose my appetite.  I am making an honest effort to eat healthier and ate all sorts of veggies this weekend.  I even added tuna and baby spinach to Kraft Dinner.  It was also a full moon - enough said.

After my Friday lunch, I decided I was ready to "Come out."  I already told a lot of people but the rumour mill was starting.  That isn't a big deal as I am not used to being private.  I grew up in a small town and everyone knows everyone's business.  Heck, I even made it in the town newspaper's social notes column.  I just wanted everyone to know in case they see me walking around clutching my boob because its sore post surgery and I walk with a bounce or when I don't go out as often, or if I don't respond to people's emails and texts right away or if/when it does come to chemo people do not wonder why I am suddenly a brunette.  It should not be a big deal.  But I also do not want a pity party, people feeling sorry for me or insincere "if there is anything I can do..."  So the perfect way was using Laura Kovacs Photography Facebook page.  She had posted some pictures from our pre surgery shoot and wrote a very nice blurp about the story behind the shoot.  Initially, I didn't want to be tagged  but decided afterwards for an "old lady who was slightly hungover post Oktoberfest"  I look pretty darn good and would rather have those images attached to being diagnosed with cancer as opposed to people imagining a sickly image.  Before I was told I had cancer, that is what I always pictured.

So this week is bone scan week and a little more physical activity.  Next week is post surgery consult to see if it has hit the lymph nodes, hopefully can return to the gym and bring the pets home.  I totally get it now - all the health care professionals I have been in contact with, plus a number of friends who have experienced cancer, kept telling me to get through everything one step at a time without looking too far ahead.  I never thought I would say this but I am taking things one day at a time.