Blissful Moments

It has been a few weeks since my last update. Now that I am off work, I am also quasi "off the grid" as I have limited cellphone reception and no internet.  It's like a Facebook, email, Linked In, etc detox.  It took almost three weeks but I am finally beginning to feel relaxed and it is blissful.  I practice yoga with my instructor, Amanda who has developed a series of poses based on my physical ability, my meditation practice has moved outside (dressed appropriately for winter) and have been lucky to be surround by deer....You can't buy that level of therapy.  I am reading books,I've had for years but never picked up and doing little projects that I've always wanted to try but never made the time. Now that I have figured out how to decoupage, I want to Mod Podge everything. I spend most of the time in the country, next door to my parents.  They have been a big help and also being closer to the rest of my family has been great. 

My last chemo treatment was February 13th and it was the longest day at the hospital yet; 6 1/2 hours.  My file was misplaced and there was a small miscommunication regarding my treatment.  A targeted treatment, Herceptin was introduced to the mix and I will continue to receive until next year. The first time, it is placed on a 90 minute drip to make sure there is no allergic reaction.  There wasn't a reaction so I hope the next time, it won't take as long.  The Herceptin can also play a number on your heart and I will continue having ECGs every 3-4 months.

Angela and Mirella accompanied me and God love them for sticking it out.  It was a long day but we had a best of a time as we could in the chemo ward.  Thank goodness I brought along plenty to eat for breakfast.  By the time we left, we had gobbled up most of it.  And as usual, when we are together we caught up on each other's lives and shared many laughs.  At one point we laughed so loud, the man next to us shot 3 feet into the air. 

The woman on the other side of my bed was receiving her first chemo treatment for breast cancer.  Of course at this point, I'm a pro and prattled on about my experiences and any tips/tricks that worked for me. She left the hospital craving chicken wings.

Sarah told me that once you know how your body will react to Taxotere, you are better prepared to deal with the side effects and it becomes manageable. She was right.  This time I started to take medication to deal with muscle/joint pain right away.  I took Advil, Tylenol, Robaxacet and a stronger prescription drugs during the night.  I believe I was "stoned" on Family Day. Being one to make the best of any situation, I wore a tie dyed Tshirt, played a little Jefferson Airplane and pretended I was at Woodstock.I believe the ghost of Jimi Hendrix visited me and set fire to his guitar on my coffee table.

I lost my sense of taste again, had the feeling of a film coating my mouth and lips swelled to the point that it looked like I had bad collagen injections but I wasn't plagued with mouth sores. Knowledge is power and I eliminated sauces, dressings and spicy foods and followed George's advice of drinking lots of club soda.

My last chemo is next Thursday and I can hardly wait!!  I'm going to celebrate by inhaling a great big burger, surrounded by loved ones



Perfect Timing

I'm into my second week of sick leave.  The timing was perfect.  I left work absolutely miserable between the mouth sores and the runny nose.  Then as I was leaving, I got an email from another cancer vixen who has chemo two days before me and she had experienced virtually the same side effects.   Not that I would ever want to wish that level of discomfort on anyone but I feel somewhat comforted (in a selfish way) knowing I'm not alone.  I just like to whine.  The oncologist asked if I can handle the side effects.   If not, they can reduce the dosage.   I told her I was fine and bring on the next dose in full force.

In my Christmas care package from Vonda, she added Lipton soup.  I thought it was a little strange but never said anything.  That woman is better prepared than me. Because I couldn't open my mouth, I slurped that soup through a straw... problem solved!

The runny nose turned into a cold or some form of sinus infection which became really annoying.  I began to fear it would delay my next treatment.  The Oncologist explained that with this chemo, my blood cell count can bottom out in as early as four days.  That means a higher chance of getting sick.   Another great reason for taking time off and staying away from people but my blood work today showed a higher white blood cell count than the average person on chemo.  Yay for Neulasta and it's all systems go for tomorrow!  Being the idiot that I am, spent more time mentally preparing what rock shirt I will wear Thursday instead of today's clothes and wore a turtleneck to finally do blood work through my port.  On the plus side I sported a fedora that was always too tight.  Not anymore!  One advantage to having no hair (including no hat head,  bed head and my time to get ready is drastically reduced because I don't have to do anything with my hair)

To be proactive,  I booked private yoga lessons to help manage the muscle pain expected during chemo.  Yes, folks there is yoga in Ladysmith.  Amanda Porter is fantastic and I am  happy to have her on the team.  We talked about my level of activity before and during chemo, the side effects I have experienced,  the level of discomfort, etc.  Then she went through a variety of poses to get my feedback on what will work for me.  Even the cat joined us for yoga.

Last week I noticed my eye lashes were breaking/ falling out.  It somehow bothers me more than losing my hair or eyebrows.  I don't have a reason why.  It just does.  I try to fake it with my Laura Mercier cake liner but it now runs under my eyes and I look like a circa 1970s Alice Cooper within an hour.  On the flip side, my hair is growing back.  I was told by so many people to expect it grow back a different colour, thicker,  or even curly.  Its so  blonde  I didn't even notice until my head was under a certain light.  Rats... I was hoping to hold until the bald look a little while longer.   Part of me wants to shave off what I have and another part of me wants to see how fast I can grow it.  Anyways, I held my legs under the same light and son of a bitch!  Razor came out for the first time since end of November!   That was one of my perks.

Tomorrow is round 5.  I started my steroids which means I will be up all hours of the night.   The food bag is packed and ready to go. Clothes are laid out.  Its an early start and a long treatment as Herceptin will be introduced.  It's also my second last chemo.  There is light at the end of the chemo tunnel.